Beltane 2018

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On my way home after an intense and beautiful visit to Glastonbury. Though I knew beforehand, I only realized fully on the day I was flying, that we were going to scatter some of Gail’s ashes. I had been absorbed with seeing my beloved again, the place and friends we had not seen in nine months.

Sharing stories of love and grief
Our beloved dead were close on Beltane’s eve
Being witness to each others lives
Some highs with many deep dives
Speaking mind and speaking heart
Speaking spirit that will not part.

What I love with these people, is they are really my kin. Though in spirit always connected, it was good looking in each others eyes again.

I also faced some of my demons again, and realize they are warriors warning me I’ve crossed my boundaries. Allowing my demons to speak, a can take a step back before the dragon flies out and sets fire to everyone and everything she deems dangerous. I feel drawn to a workshop about Mary Magdelen and her seven demons, allowing to give the demons face and voice. Acknowlegde their power, worth, and their origin. Not sure yet whether I will join the workshop, though I will work with the archetype. Also relating to acknowledging my true centre. Previously intwined, now becoming more visibly distinguised from the demons.

The full moon and the beginning of summer provide a powerful momentum to pick upon my relation with the land and turning of wheels. A powerful momentum to further develop my own practice. Drawing upon inspiration, combining it the way it soots my solitary practice and occasionally combining it with others. After 10 years (I just realized my first Beltane celebration in Rotterdam was 10 year ago) I feel strong enough to stand my own ground, to not need others to create ceremony for in order to celebrate.

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